Photo by Rubén Rodriguez on Unsplash
By a General Member (name withheld), the Young Canadians Roundtable on Health
It's been almost a year since I lost my father and though things do get easier, the wound never fully heals. Undoubtedly, the loss of a parent is traumatic and greatly impacts the family as a whole. Being an older brother, I naturally find myself trying to ease the pain and stress of my three younger brothers while simultaneously attempting to cope with my own. As I dwell on the well-being of my younger brothers, I am drawn to consider the larger picture—that so many of Canada's youth are facing a similar struggle. I empathize with these youth as I know that pain is associated with the loss of a parent, but unlike myself, these children and adolescents may not have developed the coping strategies that can at least slightly alleviate the anguish. In developed nations such as Canada, roughly 4% of children experience the loss of a parent. This loss is associated with an increased risk of mental health problems and threats to the emotional wellbeing of affected children such as anxiety, depression, and learned helplessness. I believe more can be done to support Canada's youth who are experiencing loss, and I believe that school is where this support can be obtained.
Following the death of a parent, children often experience distress, anxiety, depression, and difficulty focusing in school. Academic struggle is something that resonates with me. I can recall being in high school when my father was first diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I remember carrying this enormous weight with me to every one of my classes and it undoubtedly influenced my productivity in school. I also remember how long it took for me to seek help from teachers and guidance counselors. Reflecting on that time, I think that I can attribute my hesitation in seeking help to not feeling that my mental health and overall well-being were of concern to anyone at school. This, of course, was not accurate; however, this can be representative of the need for schools to make mental health a priority and convey to students that help can be obtained at school. Without this, Canada's youth are at risk of facing long-term detriments to their mental health. Following the death of a parent, 50% of children report becoming depressed in the year following their loss, and 16% report remaining depressed years later. This is no small proportion of children as it translates to thousands not receiving the care they need.
The importance of school being a safe place where children coping with loss can receive help goes beyond what teachers and counselors can provide. Peer support during these times is absolutely crucial for youth experiencing the death of a parent. For many Canadian adolescents, peers were the most helpful source of emotional support after the loss of their parent—time spent with friends allowed them to feel normal and less isolated. I believe that school has the potential to provide something beneficial to youth facing the loss of a parent. These youth can learn coping strategies from adults who likely have more experience with traumatic events, while also being granted services and accommodations that they may need to succeed academically. They are also able to benefit by being in an environment where peer support is readily available. The ability to receive support from academic personnel and peers in an environment where children spend so much of their time throughout the year demonstrates how important school is for youth in mourning.
The last aspect of coping with the loss of a parent which I believe schools may be able to help with is the financial issues that these families face. Children from families who lost a parent who the household’s sole source of income reported being under significantly more stress than those who were financially secure. Since my father was the only one of my parents who was working, I can relate and empathize with youth facing similar situations. I see this every day when I look at my mother and brothers. I watched as a sense of urgency to find employment consumed my 14-year-old brother. Being so young and previously relying on my father for financial support, he had no prior work experience. This made it increasingly difficult to find a job. This is an area where I think schools can help such students facing financial distress. I have noticed that schools have begun to teach financial literacy and how to approach the employment process, but I think further steps can be taken. I think that these schools could potentially offer employment opportunities to students such as working during school athletic and extracurricular events or working as teachers' assistants. These schools may even consider communicating with companies who act as suppliers or sponsors to see if a program can be implemented which functions to provide employment to students facing difficult financial situations. This would allow schools to further support their students coping with loss and lessen their financial burden and stress.
Schools can play an important role in support youths’ grieving following the loss of a parent to not only academic success but overall well-being. More needs to be done by individual schools and school boards to ensure youth facing a difficult period of their life are not falling through the cracks.