By Raissa Amany, Co-Executive Director of the Young Canadians Roundtable on Health
“You just got to ride it out; some days there’s nothing else you can do for your pain.” This sentence shattered me as a person who has chronic pain. The amount of trust and confidence I place in my healthcare providers is immense, but I will not deny the medical gaslighting that has occurred. Medical gaslighting is something that I experience during my medical appointments, and it is not easier when your chronic pain can be labelled as “psychosomatic.”
In honour of Pain Awareness Month, I am sharing my perspective as a pre-medical student, Co-Executive Director of the YCRH, and a person who has chronic migraines.
You may know someone in your circle who has chronic pain, and yes chronic pain is that common. 1 in 5 Canadians lived with chronic pain. I am relatively new to the chronic pain/illness community, but it feels like I have been a part of it for decades. From coordinating referrals, insurance for prior authorization, and self-advocacy to getting my needs met - it is currently a long road ahead.
Currently, I am in my late teens, and many individuals at my age are able to do spontaneous activities without worrying about a medical flare-up. Meanwhile, I have to take calculated risks every day for my daily tasks to ensure I do not end up in an Emergency Room or at my neurologist/family doctor’s urgent care. This is a skill that I recently learned from my last trip to the ER in April.
I have some sort of pain every day, even though I am on medications that family doctors call “special”, because I am one of the only few in their practice taking monthly biologic injections. There has never been a day where I have been free from any stabbing, ice-pick pain on my head - and it also comes with sensitivity to lights/sound and nausea. Most days, I have pain that is comparable to severe menstrual cramps - but I act like a normal person without any pain. Some days, the pain is so severe that none of my rescue medications will touch it and I just have to lay in bed in tears. At that point, I just pray that exhaustion will get me to sleep so I get a small break from the pain.
You may be thinking, “Raissa, why don’t you take a painkiller for the daily migraine?” Short answer: I can’t. Long answer: If I were to consume them like candy, it would make my migraine combined with medication overuse headache and may cause acute injuries from medications. Yes, a simple Advil could cause harm more than help me. I also have to “ration” my rescue medications, as more than 10 uses per month can lead me to have medication overuse headaches.
Having chronic pain has also made me become on a first-name basis with my pharmacists and the receptionists at my doctors’ office. From booking follow-ups to insurance issues, they take up the majority of the free time I have. My full-time job is being a student, but navigating chronic illness is another full-time job that I certainly don’t earn even a dime doing. In fact, most of my student salary goes to medication co-pays every month (which is practically non-existent). Speaking of medications, my brother jokingly says (and it’s true) that I have a mini pharmacy in my room; which is a tall shelf filled with many medical supplies and medications.
By now you are thinking, “Raissa, your quality of life sounds terrible. How are you able to cope?” In terms of coping with pain, I am slowly accepting that I will have this pain for quite some time. I have a wonderful support system navigating the ups and downs of this journey, and I have some hope that I find the right tools/medications for my chronic migraines. This does not mean that my journey is all sunshine and rainbows, as there are some days when I wonder if there is an end to all of this suffering.
Migraines are a complex neurological disease, and I know my disease is not the only one that has pain attached to it. There are eight million Canadians who live with chronic pain, and it significantly affects both physical and mental health. To learn more about what chronic pain is and what other’s journey looks like, check out: https://www.paincanada.ca/
Raissa Amany is an Undergraduate Honours Health Sciences Student at the University of Ottawa specializing in Population and Public Health. She is passionate about the intersectionality of public health - specifically within the realms of health equity and child and youth health.